i cling on

Throw in some anguish,... total despair,... a lot of confusion,... sheer disappointment,... disgraceful humiliation,... utter stupidity,... unnecessary worry,... quiet desperation,... total disbelief,... pitiful disgust, ... feel them all at one time, jumble them up all over & feel them randomly,... all in a very short space of time. Toss them between your head & your heart .... .... .... .... .. ....

not everyone gets to taste how that feels like... not everyone's cup of emotions to be blended into the mind at any one time in the middle of the lonely night. Run through each feeling again.... ... .. Let each feeling graze the soul & repeat in total random order once more... .... .... not a nice feeling....

i get to taste it.. ... not once... .. disbelief ... at myself for allowing repetition of this tormenting kind.

that's what the humankind is known for... to what extend? ... ? til the sane mind bursts, giving way to incurable insanity?.. ?

at the brink i hang,... in fact, what am i hanging on to?? i'm holding on to what? i cannot tell nor do i wish to know.

Will whatever that i'm clinging on to withold my grasp? I run through all those feelings again . .. .... .... i cling on.........................